Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

haha a juz myslalem ze temat o Perl'u.

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Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says: "Oi - get out. We don't want your type in here."

Two fish in a tank. One says: "How do you drive this thing?"

"You have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left." :D

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Fantastyczne!

The top 10 from Edinburgh Festival Fringe 2017:

I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change. Ken Cheng

Trump’s nothing like Hitler. There’s no way he could write a book. Frankie Boyle

I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions. What’s the point? Alexei Sayle

I’m looking for the girl next door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her. Lew Fitz

I like to imagine the guy who invented the umbrella was going to call it the ‘brella’. But he hesitated. Andy Field

Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big restaurant. Mark Simmons

I’m rubbish with names. It’s not my fault, it’s a condition. There’s a name for it… Jimeoin

I have two boys, 5 and 6. We’re no good at naming things in our house. Ed Byrne

I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died… which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine. Olaf Falafel

Whenever someone says, ‘I don’t believe in coincidences.’ I say, ‘Oh my God, me neither!’ Alasdair Beckett-King

A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a men’s singles event. Angela Barnes

As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer. Adele Cliff

For me dying is a lot like going camping. I don’t want to do it. Phil Wang

I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto the Ark. Adam Hess

I went to a Pretenders gig. It was a tribute act. Tim Vine


Za miesiac ide na wystep - Milton Jones ma fajna kolekcje one liners:

“I used to think sticks and stones could break my bones but words could never hurt me – until I fell into a printing press.”

“My grandfather is always saying that in the old days people could leave their back doors open. Which is probably why his submarine sank.”

“Years ago I used to supply Filofaxes for the mafia. I was involved in very organised crime.”

“A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic!”

Tim Vine tez jest ciekawy:

“The advantages of easy origami are two-fold.”

“I rang up my local swimming baths. I said: ‘Is that the local swimming baths?’ He said: ‘It depends where you’re calling from.'”

“I’ve decided to sell my Hoover – it was just collecting dust.”

“Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.”

Wszystkie sa swietne, ale specjalne podziekowania dla Ady- przy niektorych usmialam sie setnie!